What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. There in his pale wings lied the smooth surface of a porcelain pipe, shiny and polished from the many times his body rammed into it before. He gluped a little, gazing over the hole of the pipe lusfully. Bird took out his colossal dong and began to stroke it, precum dribbling out and pooling on the surface of the pipe. Seeing the dirty, slutty pipe covered in his sexual juices made him feel even more desperate and heated, cold sweat teasing at the surface of his skin. He chirped for consent from the pipe, and hearing the noise echoe and chime through the length of it gave him the cue he so desperately desire.
His cock slid into the it, so large that it barely managed to fit into the tight, virgin hole. A noise echoed from the base of the pipe, and Bird wasn't sure if this was normal sexual noises or a pleased gagging noise. Regardless, it made his dick even harder.
He slowly dragged his member in and out, using his massive amount of precum as the lubricant he needed. Being inexperienced as he was, he soon spewed cum into the tube, filling it completely and sending him flying out. However, he was not quite satisfied as he noticed the pipe above him was wet, horny, and sparkled with his freshly made spunk. His dick became erect once again and he perched himself on the lower pipe, about to take the virginity of yet another smooth, supple pipe.
However, the pool of cum below him gurgled, indicating pipe #1 wasn't finished with him. Tentacles slowly surfaced from the goo and wrapped around the young bird, filling his every orafice and pushing him (and his dong) in and out of pipe #2. His leftover cum provided ample anal lube, and he was chirping loudly in pleasure, the tentacles filling him with their stink putrid goo and eggs. Every inch his stomach jetted out, his eyes rolled back into his head and his tongue stuck out more. Bird lost his free will to the tentacles and after having his own orgasm was tossed aside; Pleased, with his anus full of fertile eggs.
Hatsune Miku then came and pushed her anus against bird's, begging for the eggs to be shared between the two. With a push, they switched hosts and Hatsune now had a tummy full of beautiful children to bring home to feed her wife.
Bird was exausted, and closed his eyes to sleep. Tomorrow was a new day, and he would finally escape this hellish pipe maze.
this isnt enough spam
Hello guys, I'm back from my 600 seconds timeout. During that time I was able to finish my 200 words essay on the topic of Nazi Germany. My thesis is that Hitler & Nazi beliefs are carried on by twitch tv Nazi moderators who like to act as if they themselves were literally Hitler. I think I should score at least 90 out of 100 points for that paper.
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
You think this takes concentration? Try healing in World of Warcraft after someone in the group just feared the entire room and the stupid death knight has stolen all the aggro from the tank, all whilst trying to reach deep into the bag for the extra cheesy dorritos. Now THAT is a skill. This is just a bunch of tap dancing in tight clothes with a room full of genelemen looking intently at you.. uhh no thanks. Ill take the fame of being the #1 ranked healer in all of Azeroth.
So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..."
Maybe his long Journey away from the evil drug that is Hearthstone has brought moral clarity to his life. Kripp rises up and breaks away from the shackles the succubus has locked Kripp in. Papaparrian holds the key and sets Kripp's mind free. He swears to never go back to Greece or play Hearthstone ever again. Kripp moves back in with Papa and finally gets his OJ sponsorship. The beautifully creamy wall is vibrant as Kripp uploads his newest video in the old wonderland. "Hey guys how's it going, Kripparian here." Kripp starts up PoE again in anticipation of the new expansion being released, theory crafting builds. He is happy and filled with life each day of streaming. All is then right with the world.
I'm currently on summer break from uni, and I don't have a job ( Hard to get when you have a criminal record, don't ask). So instead, I've been playing about 6-12 hours of CSGO a day. This week is like my 5th week of doing this. Now, I'm sure all of us here don't think that this is detrimental to your health, but last night I had a dream I was in game in CSGO. I dont remember what it was about exactly, but I woke up in a frenzy and i shouted IM CT NOT T. I assume I was stuck on T forever on Nuke. I also was playing hide and seek with my baby brother, only to find that I was jiggle peeking corners in real life. I have this crosshair burned into my vision that Im constantly lining up at headshot level. My friends wanted to go out and get pissed today on straya day, however I informed them that I have to get my smurf out of nova 1. The question is, have I taken it too far? I do not know. Have I been playing too much csgo?
Here's the thing. You said a "trilby is a fedora." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is an atheist who studies euphoria, I am telling you, specifically, in atheism, no one calls trilbys fedoras. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you should too. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "fedora family" you're referring to the euphoric grouping of le reddit army, which includes things from neckbearded gentlesirs to highly intelligent intellectual like Smoke Degrasse Tyson, Reddit's Chief Supreme Ambassador of atheism and logic, and myself, the Deputy of Science and Crows. So your reasoning for calling a trilby a fedora is because random people "say that only neckbeards wear fedoras?" Let's get Mountain Dew and Doritos in there, then, too. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?